


The Dog Did Not Seem Impressed By His Sexual Exploits

by ThreeHats



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Crossover, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-18
Updated: 2016-07-18
Packaged: 2018-07-24 21:11:28
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 852
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7523290
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ThreeHats/pseuds/ThreeHats
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Easing his eyes open, Scott was greeted by painfully monochromatic surroundings--the grass he was currently face-down in colored an insistent, thick black, and he was surrounded by silhouettes of trees ghosting through a thick, grey fog that circled him on all sides.  Slowly, he pushed himself into a sitting position on his knees as he surveyed his ominous surroundings, and noted that he curiously felt nothing; no exhaustion, no hangover, no soreness.  His body almost felt weightless in how easy it was to move, but the dampness seeping into his shins reminded him that his central nervous system was working.</p><p>All characters, locations and scenarios were pulled out of a hat to create this story, which was written in 30 minutes or less.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Dog Did Not Seem Impressed By His Sexual Exploits

**Characters:** Ant Man and Tilly (our dog)  
 **Location:** The Forest From Limbo   
**Scenario:** Bragging about sex life

All characters, locations and scenarios were pulled out of a hat to create this story, which was written in 30 minutes or less.

\--

His eyes were closed. They remained closed. But Scott was now aware of the world around him. Grass diligently standing out of the soggy earth tickled his face with some insistence, eager to wake him. Lang had no idea when he had fallen asleep, or where he had fallen asleep, but he was conscious now. It wouldn't be the first time he'd awoken in a strange place with no previous recollection of how he got there, but he usually had the good sense to pass out in some sort of furniture rather than the dirt... But there was a first time for everything.

Easing his eyes open, Scott was greeted by painfully monochromatic surroundings--the grass he was currently face-down in colored an insistent, thick black, and he was surrounded by silhouettes of trees ghosting through a thick, grey fog that circled him on all sides. Slowly, he pushed himself into a sitting position on his knees as he surveyed his ominous surroundings, and noted that he curiously felt nothing; no exhaustion, no hangover, no soreness. His body almost felt weightless in how easy it was to move, but the dampness seeping into his shins reminded him that his central nervous system was working.

A quiet rustling came from behind him, the first sign of life he had encountered in his short time there. He turned around, meeting eyes with a small, dog-shaped silhouette. Well, he assumed the two white, glowing circles in its skull were eyes, and he assumed it was dog-shaped. The newcomer was also a dark black, looking almost two-dimensional as it approached him with caution. The Ant Man held his hand out for it to sniff, and he noted with some alarm that he was similarly colored to the pooch.

"Well," he sighed, examining his hand. "That's fun." The dog sneezed on his hand in agreement. "Gross. Here, have some of that back." Lang wiped his hand off on the dog, only about a foot tall and 18 inches long, who did not seem to mind the return of its snot. Instead, its empty eyes gazed up at him in wonder as he touched it, and when Lang had completed, the dog took it upon itself to leap upon him excitedly, paws dancing on his arm as a long, insistent tongue curled out of its mouth in an attempt to lick him.

"Okay there, girl, I'm excited to see you too, I guess," Scott mumbled to his new friend, craning his neck to keep the tongue at bay. "I can't say this isn't the first time I've woken up in a weird place with a strange girl slobbering all over me, but this is definitely the weirdest one."

The puppy stopped, the outline of its ears perking up as it heard his voice. Had she ever heard a human before? This place didn't look too populated.

"I mean, don't get me wrong... I don't have a lot of sex. No, wait. I do have a lot of sex. LOTS of sex. All the time."

The dog did not seem impressed by his sexual exploits, but still gazed at him with some fascination.

"I mean, there was this one time..." He exhaled heavily and raised his eyebrows in appreciation at the memory, though he wasn't sure if his features could be seen. "This girl had me coming back for seconds and thirds. I came a lot." He winced, glancing down at his doggy friend. "Was that too crude?" He shrugged, his hand resting heavily on her back as she feverishly turned her head to nibble at his fingers. "I don't really know the etiquette for sharing sexcapades with dogs. Is there an etiquette for that? You would probably know better than I would." He gazed down at his new partner, who had snuggled against his side--once their eyes met, the tongue was out again, slapping him firmly across the lips. He let out a noise of digust.

"Buy a guy a drink first!" He said, wiping firmly at his mouth with his wrist. His clothing had no texture, no scent, no feeling against his skin. "...Maybe you're the more promiscuous of the two of us," he muttered, trying to joke away the discomfort he was beginning to feel towards his situation.

Scott sighed, shifting his legs into a criss-cross while seating himself fully on the ground. The ghost of the dog plopped down very comfortably into the hole between his knees, resting her head on his thigh as she looked up at him with no apparent emotion. He scratched behind her ears, the uneasiness in the pit of his stomach growing.

"I guess it wouldn't hurt to wait here a minute with you," he said, attempting to hide any anxiety in his voice. "Maybe it'll just make me easier to find. I'm sure someone's looking for me. Right?"


End file.
